More tranny stories later!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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