Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
