I got chris browned last night
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
