drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
