Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
