I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
