Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize