It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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