good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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