i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize