Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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