just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
