So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize