dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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