peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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