i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
