Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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