Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
