What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
