If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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