I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
