they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
