"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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