Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
whose ass print is on the piano?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize