So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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