so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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