I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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