Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
