they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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