Fuck appropriateness.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
