doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
