You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
