playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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