Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
