u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
