I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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