Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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