Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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