wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
