If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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