Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
