**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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