If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
