We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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