My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
