im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
