you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
pop tarts are not kleenex
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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