you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
