I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
