2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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