so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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