one two three fourrrrnication!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
