so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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