You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
