I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
