Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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