Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
