You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
this just has baby written all over it
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize