Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
