So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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