So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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