office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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