Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize