Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
