I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
