remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
